Pushing the start button feels SO good. In a sense it’s scary, but it really does make me re-evaluate myself in a whole new way. Almost like I’m looking in from the outside.
It’s awkward - looking at myself that way, but it builds character and it builds it quickly. I must learn to be independent - to know what I stand for because no matter how happy or sad I am in the world, that will always keep me curious. Regardless of how awkward I feel right now, I can laugh at myself. Truth is, I didn’t realize how UNhappy I was until I arrived to this new place.
We’re human. It’s part of our nature to want to fit in and stand out at the right time. No one is ever truly “alone”, but somehow we always feel like we are. Especially in the beginning, when that start button is pushed, it’s easy to feel alone. But we’re not. EVERYONE has been there before and that is the key moment where we must define ourselves and what we stand for. In that primitive moment, we are uninhibited and untainted by biases.
Right now, I am in that moment. I must look, pray, seek, ask, read and do everything it takes to be curious again, to envisage each person, place or thing as an opportunity to be enlightened. Most importantly, I must realize that I am not alone — that I am just another human, seeking happiness and fulfillment like everyone else.